Archive | May 2013

Book Review: The World Below by Mike Phillips

The following is a guest post by Mike Phillips who talks about the all important book cover. Keep reading for my review of Mr. Phillips’ new book, The World Below.

Why Book Covers Are So Important

         There’s this saying, ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover,’ but let’s face it, it happens.  When searching for a book the first thing someone is going to notice is the cover.  The cover can then draw that person into reading the synopsis.  If the synopsis and the cover draw the reader in, they could possibly buy it or put it on their to-be-read list.

My own personal experience with a cover design came with Uniquely Unwelcome.  The first edition cover was a hand drawing of a girl looking up at an eagle.  While it was a nice drawing, it just wasn’t up to par with other Fantasy covers.  It became very apparent to me, especially after a few readers recommended that I change the cover, that a change was indeed needed.

Why did I decide to use a hand drawing?  Well it was kind of a dream of mine.  My husband is a great artist.  He’s also my support system.  Whenever I’m frustrated, stuck on an idea, or just at a complete loss, he’s there.  I wanted to pay some tribute to his support and so I thought I would have him do my first cover.  From there, I would go with the “traditional covers” but for my first publication I wanted to incorporate him in some way.

My lesson from that, sometimes we have to let go of the smaller dreams/goals to reach the bigger ones.  I felt guilty I guess you could say when I told him I thought it was best if we changed the cover.  Being a great supporter like he is, he agreed.  He was honored that I had tried and that I had even used his art to begin with.  So together we picked out the cover for Uniquely Unwelcome and then again with Blood Burdens.

So yes, books are judged by their covers.  I’m not saying that every person does this, but most probably do.  I’m happy with the new cover for Uniquely Unwelcome and have a paperback edition of both the first edition with my husband’s cover design and the newer edition so I at least have a small token of my little dream.

Horror/Urban Fantasy
Date Published: 4/1/2013

In ancient times, magical creatures inhabited the earth. They lived on mountaintops, in trees, at  the bottom of lakes and rivers. But that was long ago, before the human race declared war on the creatures they feared and hated. Now the enchanted peoples are all but gone. Those few that remain fear being stretched out on an examination table in some secret, governmental facility.

The only place they can hide from the ever increasing number of satellites and smart phones is in the World Below.  Mitch Hardy is going through a hard time in his life. In his early twenties, he was working his way through college when he suffered an accident that left him flat broke and physically deformed. When Mitch decides to make a fresh start in a new town, things start looking up. He finds a place to live, a decent job, good friends. He even meets a nice girl. Unknown to Mitch, his new girlfriend is one of the Elder Race, what some call the Faerie Folk. Mitch doesn’t know that Elizabeth is looking for a father she never knew. The key to finding him is somehow tied up with the mysterious Blade of Caro. Desperate, she steals the Blade from its protector, the despotic ruler of the World Below, the Dragon of Worms, Baron Finkbeiner. When Elizabeth is kidnapped by the Baron, Mitch is pulled into a world or magic and monsters he never imagined.

 REVIEW

 This was a very riveting book. I really got to feel for Mitch and started rooting for him early on. He’s a hero in every sense of the word, his instincts kicking in any time a friend, stranger or animal is in trouble without giving any thought to his own safety or wellbeing. Some may think Mitch is an idiot since his sense of self preservation appears to be broken but this actually endeared him to me. Hume is another character I grew to love almost immediately. He’s essentially a bad guy for going out to do the Goblin King’s bidding but as his sister is being held captive and it’s obvious the man doesn’t like what he has to do while at the same time trying figure out a way to rescue her from his enemy you start rooting for him too. All the characters are likable, with the exception of Elizabeth, who I found to be fairly manipulative and scheming personally, and I adored the story. It’s a nice blend of fantasy and reality and I can’t wait to start reading the rest of the series. If you’re a fan of Sci-fi/Fantasy stories like Mercedes Lackey’s Elemental Masters series I think you’ll love The World Below.

*This review is part of Reading Addiction Blog Tours who supplied me with a free copy and is unbiased, unsolicited and unpaid.
Virtual Book Tour – May 6 – June 2
 
May 6 – Reading Addiction Blog Tours – Meet and Greet
May 7 – Logikal Blog – Guest Post/PROMO
May 9 – Kindle Obsessed – Guest Post/PROMO
May 10 – Laurie’s Thoughts and Reviews – Interview/PROMO
May 12 – Bunny’s Reviews – Interview/PROMO
May 14 –My Reading Addiction – Review
May 16 – Texas Book Nook – Review
May 18- Playing Jokers – Review/Guest Post
May 20 – Bea’s Book Nook – Guest Post/PROMO
May 21 – Author Ever Leigh – PROMO
May 22 – Bibliophilia, Please – PROMO
May 24 – Must Read Faster– Guest Post/PROMO
May 26 –Mythical Books – Guest Post/PROMO
May 27 – Books and Needlepoint – Interview/PROMO
May 28 – My Cozie Corner– Review
May 30 – Faerie Tale Books – Review/Guest Post
May 31 – Noemi Betancourt- Review/Guest Post
June 2 – RABT Reviews – Review

Mike Phillips is author of The World Below and Reign of the Nightmare Prince. His short stories have appeared in ParAbnormal Digest, Cemetery Moon, Sinister Tales, Beyond Centauri, the World of Myth, Mystic Signals and many others. Online, his work has appeared in Lorelei Signal, Kzine, Bewildering Stories, Midnight Times, and Fringe. He is best known for his Crow Witch and Patrick Donegal series.

 mikephillipsfantasy.com

Excerpt

Magic sigils were hidden all over the city, but along the Riverwalk powers of earth and water converged. Magic here was strange and unpredictable, but always strong. A star was carved on the nearest of the old cottonwoods. It was ancient magic, made perhaps by the native tribes who once inhabited this place.

Hume could not guess what its purpose was. For all he knew, it would take him away to some desperate corner of the underworld to be forever enslaved. He did nothing to protect himself. He had to let events run their course.

Finding Lady Elizabeth proved impossible. If this stranger had information, then he would surrender himself to free his sister.

A breath of chill air interrupted his thoughts. He shivered.

It was his humanity giving him warning. People who didn’t know any better would attach some old wives’ tale to the feeling, but he was not so blinded by the mundane. No one tread on his future grave. Evil approached.

In the world outside the reach of the cottonwood, the sun escaped below the horizon. Night had come.

Darkness coalesced; growing deeper in this haven below the trees, gathering until the river and the bay and everything beyond the sphere of darkness was lost. A black bird flew to a nearby piling. The crow was mangy and looked only moments from death by old age. It ruffled its ancient feathers and stared at Hume, penetrating his mind.

Unafraid, he stared back, filling his thoughts with a variety of deaths the crow might suffer at his hand. The bird cawed angrily, its harsh voice a show of defiance.

“Let’s get on with it,” he said. “Sunset was an hour ago.”

“Nightfall is now,” snapped the bird.

“Point taken. My mistake.”

The crow’s voice was as harsh as its call. “Patience Hume, your eagerness does you no credit. A lesser being than I might take it as a sign of weakness, but no advantage will I press. I know what it is to have a loved one in danger.”

“Oh? So, is that why you are here? How nice.”

“Yes, I wish to help you, and I have other reasons.”

“What are they?”

“Patience, Hume. Patience” The crow laughed. “We’ll get to that later.”

“Lovely.”

Another crow flew to the piling. Soon the place within the dark was full of crows. They raced to the piling, circling Hume like a cyclone. He stood still, and though the impossibility of safety seemed assured, he wasn’t touch.

The birds fused together, forming something in the shape of a man. The man was covered in black feathers. He had a crow’s head with a sharp beak and beady eyes. A mantle of greater feathers ringed his neck.

“That’s a little much,” Hume said. “Who are you trying to impress?”

“I must admit I’ve always had the knack for the dramatic. As a show of trust I appear to you as my true self.”

“Does that make you a murder or a man?”

“Ha, ha, quite clever,” said the crow man. “I shall have to remember that one. Yes, quite clever indeed.”

LINKS TO BUY

Amazon Link

Barnes & Noble Link

Damnation Books Link

Relationships and the couples retreat/workshop

Throughout the 13 years my husband and I have been married we’ve had our trials and tribulations. At one point things were so bad that we actually considered counseling. Personally I’ve never been a fan of Psychologists but I have to admit that the counseling helped. By utilizing workshops by groups like Marriage Encounter, CREDO and the Wounded Warrior Project we like to fine tune our relationship every couple of years or so as you would a car. Over the years we’ve discovered there are a few similarities that always seem to pop up with couples having problems.

Somebody didn’t get their tuneup

The biggest issue is communication. Yeah I know, my male readers are rolling their eyes and shaking their heads but the fact of the matter is, whether you’re in a hetero or homosexual relationship you are two people who are steadily involved in each other’s lives and neither of you are mind readers. Male or female if there’s a problem you need to speak up about it and the other party needs to listen and I mean actively listen. Many people don’t actually listen to what the other person is saying because they’re too busy formulating their rebuttal to throw in as soon as the other person stops speaking rather than actually stopping to consider what that person is saying. In doing so you’re disregarding your partner’s grievance which is probably why you find yourselves talking in circles. Stop, listen and consider what your partner is telling you. Rather than feeling insulted immediately, think. Do you see any grain of truth in your partner’s complaint?

Also if you have an issue, don’t keep it bottled up so that it can fester and grow until you end up blowing up about it and it becomes a whole big thing in your relationship. People keep issues bottled up inside for a majority of reasons, usually because they don’t want to rock the boat or upset their partner. First why are you so concerned about upsetting your partner? Remember your feelings count too. If your partner doesn’t want to talk about anything they don’t actually respect you or the relationship enough to want to make you happy and work on the problem whether it’s a simple miscommunication or misunderstanding or a legitimate problem. If you’re afraid of your partner becoming violent that’s a whole new issue you need to think about and ask yourself why are you with this person? Violence is NEVER ok and it’s never the answer!

Lack of respect and consideration is also an issue that seems to be evident in both sexes. I’ve seen women who get upset that their partners take no interest in their favorite activities yet they won’t try to take an interest in their partner’s favorite activities either. While couples don’t have to be joined at the hip, occasionally taking part in each other’s hobby or interests isn’t going to kill you.

Unless your partner is an amateur knife thrower…

When a couple decides to go to one of these workshops or retreats, it should be because both parties want to go. Everyone should be willing to examine their relationship. There should not be any “sacrificing” or anyone being dragged to anything against their will because I guarantee that couple will not get anything out of it. You’re wasting your time, the time of the people running the event and taking up space that a couple who actually wants to be there. I’ve seen things get downright nasty among couples like this and one guy was such a festering asshole that he was making fun of the other guys taking part in the event. The man was bored, didn’t hide the fact he did not want to be there, didn’t even try to make an effort and created a hostile environment for everyone involved. For anyone reading this, male or female, if you’re this much of a douche that you consider the fact your other half is unhappy with the state of your relationship is a joke and not worth your time to explore, do the world a favor and stay your happy ass home! In fact, if this is the way your other half behaves, consider why you’re putting up with it and realize you deserve so much better.

Being in a successful relationship takes work from both parties.  If you and your partner have never ever argued about anything ever in the course of your whole relationship, I hate to say it but there’s definitely a problem. Never arguing about anything doesn’t mean you have a picture perfect healthy relationship, it means someone is holding something back. Now I’m not saying that arguing all the time is essential because it’s not but unless the other person is your clone or vice versa, you are both completely different individuals with your own mindset, thought process and vices and from time to time you will clash over something, be it major or minor. Arguing over something doesn’t mean your relationship is over if that relationship is healthy. Even if you guys are happy and have been going through a really great patch in your relationship, it doesn’t hurt to visit a retreat or workshop from time to time. This weekend my husband and I visited a workshop and when asked prior to attending what issues you’d like to work on, we sat there and honestly couldn’t think of a single thing. We attended anyway, had a nice relaxing time together and enjoyed ourselves which we found to be a much needed opportunity since our daily lives tend to focus around his medical issues, VA appointments and the military retirement process and we don’t get as much downtime as we would like. Bottom line, the couples retreat or workshop isn’t a bad thing and your marriage or relationship doesn’t need to be in trouble for you to attend. It’s a great way to approach any issues you might have with a new perspective and helps to circumvent any possible issues that may come up in future and get to know each other a little better while becoming closer.

Disclaimer: Noemi Betancourt is a romance novelist. Relationship opinions and advice is based on personal experience and should not be taken as professional advice. If you have any relationship issues and need counseling or intervention, please seek out a professional.

WTF books

Sometimes in my search for the next great or at least enjoyable book to read I come across a book that makes me do a double take and I’m compelled to take a further look to see whether or not said book is (hopefully) satire. Usually they are and the joke is just so good that I actually end up picking the book up. Here are a few that recently caught my attention:

Cookbooks

Now when i think cuisine Coolio isn’t the first person who comes to mind but apparently he’s been cooking since he was 10 and invented what he calls “Ghetto Cuisine.” Learn how to make quick recipes that are easy on the waist and wallet such as Soul Rolls and Finger-Lickin’, Rib-Stickin’, Fall-Off-the-Bone-and-into-Your-Mouth Chicken. The book contains chapters like “Chillin’ and Grillin’ and introduces the reader to fusion cuisine categories like Blasian (black Asian) and Ghettalian (ghetto Italian).

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a book that’s been placed firmly on my wish list. It’s a hilarious take on the popular series only between a young innocent wide eyed chicken and a wealthy sexy chef. The book contains some filthy yet delicious sounding recipes like Dripping Thighs, Bacon-Bound Wings, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, and Mustard-Spanked Chicken. Here’s an excerpt:

 
“I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious.

Comics

I LOVE this book! I’ve always been a fan of Garfield growing up but this book   displays the comics with the fat lasagna loving cat completely erased so you get to witness Jon having psychotic episodes throughout. Awesome!

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you’ve ever perused the Book of Faces you may have come across a post or two featuring texts between a dog and his annoyed owner. Well, the creator of this phenomenon has a hilarious book that will have you rolling, especially if you’re a dog owner. I know I could see my dogs doing this 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Children

Written and drawn like a sweet little bedtime story, this book follows the saga of a poor little alligator who’s tired of fruit and desperately wants to chomp on a nice pudgy child but he’s just too small.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you haven’t heard of this book yet you’re probably either living under a rock or come from outer space (in which case I welcome our robot overlords;). This is an actual real life book that parents can relate to as they follow the saga of a father who is desperately trying to put his daughter to bed. And now for your viewing pleasure, here is Samuel L. Jackson reading Go the F*** to Sleep. G’nite folks!

WARNING: Language NSFW

Book Review: Angel by Johanna Lindsey

Today we head to the Old West in Johanna Lindsey’s Angel.

Cassie Stewart is a professional meddler. Having caused havoc at her childhood home of Wyoming she heads down to visit her estranged father’s ranch in Texas where she manages to make a feud between two families even worst when she convinces the daughter of one family to fall in love and marry the son of the other family. However, unlike the famous Romeo and Juliet, the two star-crossed lovers don’t commit suicide together but get yanked apart by their respective families before turning their venom on Cassie and give her a deadline to get out of town or face her very own Texas BBQ.

Break out the weiners, ma!

With her father out of town and the mother who usually cleans up her messes still in Wyoming, Cassie doesn’t know what to do except she has a strong desire to finish what she started for once and sends for a man known as the Peacemaker. Unfortunately, the Peacemaker gets badly injured in the line of peacekeeping and sends a man who owes him a favor in his stead. This man is the tall dark and silent gunslinger known throughout the West as the Angel of Death! After Cassie gets over her initial terror she tries throwing her weight around and ordering him to leave first because she tells him the problem he came for was already solved and then because his presence will only make things worst. Angel won’t budge and over the coming weeks Cassie gets to know the man behind the legend and finds him to be warm, sweet and sexy while he comes to the realization that the woman who drives him absolutely insane has also managed to steal his heart.

Angel is action packed with likable characters and tame but sweet love scenes. I’m not crazy about the meddling empty headed heroine often portrayed in romance novels (it’s my biggest peeve about Jane Austen’s Emma) but Cassie’s ability to defend herself and her loyalty to her family and friends compensates for any irritability I felt about the character. Angel reminded me of a cross between Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef so I couldn’t picture him being attractive or sexy but the man’s sense of honor and his restraint not to kill as many challengers as he could have earned my respect for him so I was glad to read their HEA. There’s also a pretty cool little twist at the end but I’ll leave that for you to discover.

All in all it was a nice enjoyable read that has put me in the mood to hunt down more Romance Westerns:) PS look out romance fans, this book was published in 1992 so we’ve got a few turgid things puckering throughout the story.

******

And now a quick update. To celebrate the launch of Descendants of Quendaris, my first book Heroes and Hearts will now be FREE for a limited time! Witness Isabel’s rise to greatness and her smoldering love affair with the Prince of Calfragor before journeying with the couple as they join forces with Queen Valeska and King Iskander save our worlds from the forces of evil!

Great Writing in Movies

Yesterday I had the privilege of venturing to the movies with my best hubby to watch Star Trek into Darkness which, being a fan of the original series, I adored. I especially loved Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance but that’s nothing new because I adore him too. His delicious performance actually made me smile and I thoroughly enjoyed hating the villain while cheering for the heroes. That got me thinking. It’s rare that we go to the movies because there never really seems to be anything out there that makes movies today very memorable. Terrific special effects and music score are wonderful things but they can only take a movie so far. Terrific acting skills are also beneficial to the story especially when coupled with good meaty writing that presents moviegoers with memorable lines, speeches and scenes.

Now I’m going to refrain from including great infamous lines like Chief Brody’s “We’re gonna need a bigger boat” and “Come down here and chum some of this shit” from Jaws, “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn” from Gone with the Wind or memorable speeches and moments like Network’s “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore.” Today I’ll be covering lesser thought of, but still great lines and scenes from movies throughout the years in the hopes that it’ll bring you memories of those great films and the people who wrote them as well as introduce you to movies you haven’t seen or haven’t considered seeing:)

Moonstruck

If you’ve taken a stroll around my blog, you already know that Moonstruck is one of my favorite movies of all time so of course one of my favorite lines and movies come from this movie and no, I will not be covering the slapping scene, sorry. In this scene, the family has sat down to dinner and is trying to talk about Loretta’s upcoming wedding except Cosmo doesn’t want to do anything but eat and guzzle wine. Rose is already dealing with the fact she think’s her husband is screwing around on her and his behavior at the table is stressing her out. Throughout the scene, Cosmo’s father keeps leaving the table to feed his spaghetti and meatballs (I think that’s what they’re eating) to the pack of dogs he takes with him everywhere he goes. Finally, Rose has had enough.

The Ten Commandments

I’m not a religious person but I grew up loving Cecil B. DeMille’s Ten Commandments. The movie showcases why the cast was so legendary (although I personally believe Edward G. Robinson was seriously miscast) and has lots of great scenes, speeches and lines. My favorites both involve confrontations between Anne Baxter’s Nefretiri and Yul Brynner’s Ramses.

For some reason I can’t find the scene featuring another confrontation between Ramses and Nefretiri where he informs her “You will be mine, like my dog, or my horse, or my falcon, except that I shall love you more – and trust you less.”

Steel Magnolias

This movie made me laugh and cry and is packed full of great lines and scenes. The following clips are at the cemetery when my favorite lady, Olympia Dukakis, tries to make Maline feel better and then makes up with Ouiser.

Uncle Buck

In this movie John Candy plays the low brow uncle who turns the lives of his nieces and nephew upside down while their parents are away. In this scene he takes on the battle-axe who insists his 6 year old niece isn’t taking her career as a student seriously.

The Heiress

A fantastic old movie starring Olivia deHavilland and Montgomery Clift. She is a plain heiress alienated by her father because she didn’t grow up as lovely as her deceased mother and who is practically invisible to all eligible men. She falls madly in love with Clift who her father rightly suspects is a fortune hunter and refuses to give consent to their marriage. They plan to elope but when he discovers she’ll be virtually penniless if her father cuts her off he drops off the face of the earth only to return when the old man drops dead and she inherits it all. Now wiser and understandably a little bitter, she sets the man up to be bounced harder than Jerry Sandusky from the gates of Disneyworld.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

This movie is just loaded with great lines and scenes but the following is what I consider to be the best scene in the whole movie.

Old Acquaintance

This is one of my favorite Bette Davis movies. She and Miriam Hopkins play two old friends whose relationship gets tested over a 25 year span, usually by Hopkin’s character’s jealousy. It finally comes to a head in this scene when Kit gets tired of Millie’s drama.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

A fantastic movie featuring my favorite onscreen couple, Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy, as well as a young Sidney Poitier. In this movie the daughter of a white wealthy couple with progressive unorthodox views announces her intent to marry a young black doctor she met while vacationing in Hawaii. While this isn’t a big deal for most people today, back in the 1960s this was actually illegal in many parts of the country (the same parts that are fighting so hard against Marriage Equality FYI). In this clip, Katherine Hepburn terminates an employee in the most epic of ways!

Double Indemnity

While this movie doesn’t really have any lines that are overly memorable (except maybe for this corny one that says how murder can sometimes smell like honeysuckle) but as the movie that essentially birthed the crime/femme fatale genre I think everyone who doesn’t know about this movie should run and see it. I especially love that the concept and story was inspired by both a conversation the author of the book had with an insurance salesman one day who told him how when you work the game long enough you sometimes start trying to figure out the angles so you could actually get away with killing someone for the insurance policy and by a murder in 1927 where a wife convinced her boyfriend to kill her husband after he took out a large policy.

And finally here’s a famous skit from the movie Naughty Nineties: Who’s on First with Abbot and Costello

Book Review: Katherine Irons’ Atlantis trilogy

Today I’ll be reviewing Katherine Irons’ three books focused on the Atlanteans. These are fantasy romance stories centered on the crown prince and his brothers but also gives some insight into the life and enemies of the people of Atlantis.

Seaborne

Claire Bishop was a wealthy athletic and beautiful young woman whose life was changed forever when a drunken boater crashed into her and her friends. She has spent the last two years wheelchair bound and wallowing in serious pain and self pity and has managed to escape her controlling father to Seaborne, the seaside Maine home her grandmother left her when she died. She meets Morgan, crown prince of Atlantis, on the beach one day and it’s love at first sight. Morgan is already in trouble with the High Council for violating one of the cardinal rules of the land, make no contact with humans. Having already gotten off for rescuing a drowning boy in a storm, it is absolutely vital that Morgan keep his strong attraction to Claire a secret. He knows he should avoid her at all costs but her pull is just too strong. On top of everything else Morgan and his brothers, Alexandros and Orion, also have to deal with one of their father’s concubines and mother to their half brother, Caddoc, both of which want to kill the immediate family and take their places as rulers of Atlantis.

This story starts out a bit slow but really picks up steam and you can’t help but fall in love with Morgan. Claire can be a bit annoying but when you figure everything she’d been through and having absolutely no support network, except for people who insist on treating the 29 year old like a child because of her injuries as well as a husband who screwed around on her and now wants her for her vast settlement from the accident, you can kind of begrudge her a little self pity and low self esteem. Thanks to her interactions with Morgan however, Claire develops the strength she needs to fight back when she’s hospitalized against her will and tells her greedy murderous ex-husband to take a hike. I especially love the villainous shades that the Atlanteans battle and how Irons incorporates the old mermaid stories and mythical elements to her world.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this book and dove (heh) straight into the others.

Oceanborne

Elena Carter is an underwater archeologist on a mission. With her father disgraced in the field, she aims to prove herself by excavating an ancient Phoenician ship sunk off the coast of Greece. Unfortunately for her, Melqart, Phoenician god of war and ruler of the shades, doesn’t take kindly to a bunch of humans crawling around a ship loaded with his tributes and so Orion finds himself constantly coming to the aid of the beautiful woman who rescued him.

Unfortunately, this book didn’t thrill me like the first one did and I had to struggle to finish it. There were just way too many things wrong for me to enjoy the story and it just went from bad to worst!

First of all, why would Poseidon not only forgive the son who was involved in a plot to kill him and take the throne but allow him to return to Atlantis to do still more damage? He also has a nasty habit of believing every accusation that flies out of the schmuck’s mouth despite the fact that he oh y’know TRIED TO HAVE HIM KILLED AND USURP HIS THRONE!

We’re treated to more displays of Halimeda’s wrath and pension for octopi as her being rescued by Melqart and being in league with him seems to consist of her throwing fits because her servants are undead monsters and her being unable to eat anything even though she doesn’t actually need to anymore. To me, the sorceress seems less like a powerful witch to be feared and more like a spoiled bitch who needs to lose some teeth.

Will you STOP SCREAMING?!

Then there’s Elena who aggravates the hell out of me. First of all, this chick is just out of college and yet her entire career rides on an excavation that’s being interrupted by weather all because her father was a nutjob who claimed to have discovered Atlantis but later couldn’t provide proof before he disappeared? Really? Also, she’s the ultimate damsel in distress whose only reaction to frightening things is to panic and run or scream, freeze and close her eyes waiting for imminent death or to be rescued. Frankly I can’t imagine how she managed to get this far in her career without being eaten by a shark! And don’t even get me started on that time traveling BS where things happened one way and then suddenly everything changed or changed back or whatever. This was the third time this book flew out of my hand. Yet for the sake of this review I persevered.

*sob* It’s just SO bad!!!

Another thing that bothered me was how friggin easy it was to kill Melqart! The insipid Elena, who seemed to grow more childlike and brainless as the story went on, stands there in the temple and actually LAUGHS and makes fun of the big scary hulking roaring beast that just finished bursting out of his own statue and pulls a maneuver straight out of Peter Pan which results in Melqart doing an impression of the Wicked Witch of the West!

Lookit me, NOT believing in Phoenician gods. You can go ahead and die now!

He dissolves into a steaming puddle of goo and turns to dust out of which appears “a warty toad.” Seriously, these are the words a grown woman uses to describe the animal later on, and hops into a fiery chasm.

Finally, Orion isn’t nearly as interesting as his brother Morgan but then you kinda saw that in the first book. I’m actually looking more forward to picking up the next one as Alex always struck me as the most interesting of the three.

Waterborne

Ree O’Connor is a trained assassin with special abilities such as clairvoyance and setting things on fire. While targeting a rich Russian bastard who makes his money causing destruction both above and below the surface of the ocean, something goes wrong and she’s nearly killed. Luckily for her Prince Alexandros is onboard, also tasked with a mission to kill the rich Russian bastard and he takes her under the water and saves her.

Alex meanwhile is having serious issues clashing with the queen of the Lemorians who, in an attempt to sire a princess to sit on the throne after her, is banging Prince Caddoc like a screen door in a hurricane. Caddoc meanwhile is tired of his mother’s abuse so when the Lemorian queen declares their goddess needs a sacrifice he offers her up in his place to fling into an underwater volcano.

Alex also can’t understand why, despite his own aversion to humans that led him to lecture his brothers against taking human mates in the first two books, he can’t suppress the urge to plow Ree. There’s more trouble in store for poor Alex because while he’s fighting along side Ree to kill the rich Russian bastard, who apparently has a fleet of helicopters to rush him to safety at any given time, his brothers are playing hot potato with the crown.  It seems nobody wants to be Poseidon since daddy bought it in book 2.

Sadly, this series started out promising but just ended in colossal disappointment. The sex scenes actually become fairly dull especially in Waterborne and just happen way too often. In fact, you kind of get the feeling that even Irons starts getting bored with them because she stops giving details, which is a shame since there really isn’t much variation to the scenes she does describe in the whole series. I also don’t get why Irons insists on giving her heroines boyfriends when none of them actually become important characters. The only reason I could think of is the only way she could convey the sex appeal of her heroines is to saddle them with a boyfriend, fiance or husband which is pretty damn sad if it is true.

One thing I did take away from reading this series is writing style and plot devices NOT to use. I don’t mean this to be harsh or insulting, I’m actually serious. As I write my own series and books I will be keeping in mind not to have easily killable enemies, tedious sex scenes and secondary characters the plot could do without. I’m honestly hoping Katherine Irons’ writing improves with time because she’s incredibly imaginative and I do like her use of myths. I would actually prefer to read something that was an absolute train wreck from page one than descend into a spiral of dismay as I witness the demise of a promising storyline.

RIP Ray Harryhausen

Yesterday the world lost a cinematic legend. Ray Harryhausen, the master of stop-motion animation and a pioneer in the world of special effects, died in London at the age of 92.

Harryhausen was fascinated by the original King Kong when he was 13 years old and later got to work with the beast’s creator, Willis O’Brien, as a technician on the set of Mighty Joe Young in 1943. Ten years later he made his debut by designing the giant lizard that ate New York City in The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.

Harryhausen continued creating monsters for sci-fi and fantasy movies throughout the 50s and 60s including Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, Mysterious Island and, one of my personal favorites, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad. He receives most notoriety as creator of the monsters and effects of Jason and the Argonauts and the original 1981 Clash of the Titans. Ray Harryhausen was once asked to choose which of his creations was his favorite and he just didn’t have an answer. “I can’t.” he said, “The others get jealous.” Personally I’ve always adored the skeleton/human fights in J&A, and Charon and Medusa from COT which remains one of my favorite movies and favorite Harryhausen flick of all time!

With CGI and 3D taking over the special effects market, most people today don’t seem to appreciate the art and innovation that Ray Harryhausen put into his creations and how they enhanced movies and moviemaking, usually writing them off as low-budget and cheesy. However low budget and cheesy was enough to inspire other great moviemakers of our day. George Lucas and Peter Jackson admit there would have been no Star Wars or Lord of the Rings without the influence of Ray Harryhausen and James Cameron adds, “If not for Ray’s contribution to the collective dreamscape, we wouldn’t be who we are.” In 1992, Harryhausen received a special Oscar commemorating his lifetime of work and influence in the special effects industry. 

RIP Mr. Harryhausen. You were the best!